So I will admit to being a bit of a cynic when it comes to people. I’ve been told before I am too young to be as cynical as I am but that I am wise beyond my years. I’m not sure if this was good or bad. Either way, it is what it is. I’ll admit though that the past year has given me a new perspective on people. Since my diagnosis I’ve experienced kindness from strangers in every possible place and in ways I never would’ve imagined. I’ve also seen my entire roller derby team rally around me and prove that a derby team really is your second family. I’ve had friends and family step up to the plate in ways I never imagined. Just today I was moved again by the kindness of strangers.
Today I had my eight week progress ct scan. Scan days are always nerve wracking because you don’t know what the result is going to be. You could be blindsided and told the cancer has spread (like my last scan) or you could be told that everything is shrinking and you are heading in the right direction. It’s a total crap shoot. You don’t know if your doctor is going to call you tomorrow with bad news or wait until your next appointment to tell you good or bad.
I could get my scans at the local hospital ten minutes from my house, which I did once, but I opt to drive 45 minutes away to the University Radiology that instantly sends all results to my doctor. This prevents the headache of hunting down scans, reports and comparisons like I have had to in the past. It is almost 6 pm now and I know that my doctor has my results.
Last night I had to drink a bottle of barium and then I had another for breakfast. I was a little cranky when I arrived for my appointment at 11:45 today.
The woman at the front desk remembered me from my previous appointments and really put me at ease. She asked me how my treatments were going, how I was feeling, how I was handling side effects and the new loss of my hair. She was so sweet and caring about the whole thing that I almost forgot I hadn't eaten in over twelve hours.
Once inside the ct tech gave me my last drink and we joked about how they should be served in margarita glasses. She actually said she was going to try to bring some disposable ones from home. As I drank my little cocktail we talked about cruises and visiting Italy.
When I finished my drink a nurse came in to start my IV. She walked up to where I was lying on the table and grabbed my hand. She told me she reviewed all my recent numbers and that everything was looking good. She then asked me how I was doing, really doing. She wanted to know how I was holding up emotionally. Was I okay? Did someone come with me to my appointment? Did I have the rash on my hands checked out? She assured me my doctors were great and that they would have access to my scan report immediately after it was on their computers. She was so gentle and loving and concerned, you would’ve thought I was her own daughter. She held my hand for as long as she could and when it was time to leave me she asked if she could hug me. As she gave me a big hug I felt tears well up in my eyes. Here was another stranger holding my hand, rooting for me, loving me, supporting me.
So while this could be the end of this post, I recently had another act of kindness from a stranger that left me completely speechless. In June I presented my story at the Val Skinner Foundation LIFE Event (I posted about it earlier). The event was a golf tournament followed by a fundraiser lunch where I spoke about my cancer journey so far. A few days after the event I received an email from one of the men who had attended the event. We hadn’t spoken during the event but he had heard my speech and felt moved by my story, especially since he too was a cancer survivor. It was nice to hear that I had such an effect on someone but that wasn’t the end of it. He was also the winner of the golf tournament and his prize was a two year lease on a brand new Lincoln MKZ . He wanted to give me his prize as a wedding gift. I could not believe what I was reading in my email. I read it twice and was completely speechless. My phone rang and it was Val Skinner asking me if I read my email yet. Holy guacamole, I couldn’t believe this was really happening! Not only did we need a new car but a complete stranger was giving us one for free. I picked up the car this past Saturday and still can’t believe this amazing gift.
It has taken a really awful thing in my life to see such beauty in people. I am thankful for the shift in perspective and for every stranger I meet who shows such compassion and caring for someone they don't even know. And so while I use to belt out with Jack Johnson, “where’d all the good people go” I now know, they are all around us.
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